Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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