I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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