My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
