Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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