Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
