he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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