Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize