It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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