Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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