she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
