Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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