I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
