I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
