K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
