Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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