who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
