the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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