My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
