All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
