just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
