Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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