ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
