dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
