Porn is love you can see.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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