Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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