I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
