I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
