Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
