Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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