They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
