If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
