what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
this will be a night to untag.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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