just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
