i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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