so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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