Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
