He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
