I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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