I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
