I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
