he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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