We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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