We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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