I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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