He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize