Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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