i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
