Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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