adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
