the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
