I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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