Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
