I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
