it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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