I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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