Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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