Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
