Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
