I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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