That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
